22. Have we turned the corner?

Going in to visit Mum I was greeted by the lovely Helen."Can we have a chat?" she said."Olwen has been much better but I have been keeping her in her room and she has been much more settled" I replied that I had already worked out that taking her out was not helping her. So it was good to have that guidance that even taking her to another sitting area was not advised.

I then went to see her in her room and was greeted with the statement "I have decided to go into the nursing home in Old Town Lane" (the street she had bought a flat in thirty years ago.) "Did I remember it?" Well I didn't. "I know quite a few people there and I think I will settle quite well"As Helen said "well we can be the nursing home in Old Town Lane!." Then there followed a conversation about how she could go to Bowers for her provisions"Yes" I said " Their nice flap jacks and Pork Pies!" Even I remember those. She did admit that Mr Bower would be getting on abit now! Then she remembered the butcher "Nice lamb chops and sausages!"

It was Tuesday and then we had a visit from Paul the chaplain. She did not remember meeting him before but asked if he was a resident here which he took in good part. "No but it sometimes feels like it! " he said but the next thing she said was " She was going to put her daughters name down to come in" so we had another laugh. I only hope this all continues! But I am sure no risperidone is also helping!

21 Dealing with dementia

On my visit today I was greeted with"I have decided I am not staying here"well that was nothing new. "Why was that?" I asked, so then she launches into a horrific story as to what had happened last night."Well you must have been dreaming and had a nightmare" I said but that was fiercely denied. You know it could not possibly be true yet it sets up a niggle that perhaps 1% of it might have happened because they are still very sensitive to carers body language and attitude. After asking the carers what had happened it emerged that they had caught her trying to get out again so today she was back on Risperidone. "Another place won't be any better" I said
She then said two things that undoubtedly were true for her ? "It's frightening!"and "It's horrible!"

Dementia is truly a dreadful condition and she certainly suffered from it while she was with us. Men getting into her bed, children looking in the window,an old lady sitting in the corner and I found the crazy conversations very waring. We feel sad that things are not happier and you wonder if you should have persevered abit longer.

20.Wednesday outing! Maybe the last!

Yesterday I had been updated re a change of medication, a month off Risperidone and I feel happy with that.So I fronted up today to see if she wanted to go out.

As usual she was game so we started off at the Golden gate for Sweet and Sour Fish. She found the carrots a bit al dente but had eaten everything else but she wanted a refund! I was then going to take her down to the river for an ice cream but she wanted to go to Garden city Miss Maud's and evidently wanted a second lunch but I just ordered coffee and cake. She really wanted sandwiches which I eventually worked out so I got some to take home but she was grumpy. " Well that was not much of a party" "You did not do the right thing" it is very hard to work out what she wants so I said "Oh well I did my best!" Getting back to Braemar she said she was not going to David Jones again, of course we had not been there but I was left with the impression that she had not enjoyed it much. Anyway it's probably too much for her,and it really is not worth me making the effort. I came home and told Bob it was the last time I was taking her out . Anyway now have a good excuse it is getting too hot to go out as the weather is warming up