16 Nursing Home Day

N.H.Day

Monday dawned. I informed Mum that to day I was moving her into residential accommodation for me to have abit of a rest. "I'm not going anywhere " she said  Oh dear this was not going to be easy. Eventually she backed down  and got in the car.

Throughout the short ten minute journey she kept up a diatribe that I was despicable and this is obviously what I had been wanting for a long time which of course was not true. We would much have preferred her to die at home but everyone was telling me  that it was time for a nursing home. Falls, incontinence etc.Having looked after her for two and a half years  we did not feel she was going to last much longer.

We got to Braemar http://www.braemar.org.au/ and then of course she refused to get out of the car. I went in to tell Sharon that we were here  but she did not want to come in. "Will my charms help?" she said "Yes They Might" so she came out to the car and said"Hello"to Mum and that they were expecting her etc. But still Olwen refused to budge. Stalemate for about half an hour. Sharon went back to her work.  Eventually Mum made an effort  to get out of the car. with the enticement that they had lunch on. She  still had a good appetite and enjoyed her food I said I would help her with her bag. "Make sure you don't take any money out of it" I let that one pass! and we got inside. She immediately said"  "You're putting me in a home"  as unfortunately you pass notices essential to the work place " remember to wash your hands" and workplace advocacy etc. Mum was 101 and a half but not dumb but she could be rude. "Look  at her" she said as we passed an old lady in a wheel chair. I hope that poor lady was deaf. We got to her room, her lunch came  and after lunch a lovely carer came to take her to the toilet and she cooperated. I stayed all afternoon until tea time and then left. It was a day I was glad was over!

Next day  we took in her chair and some flowers to brighten up her room. She was sitting in the lounge in a wheelchair, something she would not have accepted a short time ago. Indeed much as she loved shops she would never consent to a wheel chair hire  around the shopping centre and of course she still called them bath chairs and not many people would remember them being called that! Yes it is confronting seeing your mother now drinking from a plastic beaker rather than her beloved china, being given a bib akin to a babies at meal time instead of a serviette yet she was accepting it  with no complaints. I really think that when the time comes for you to go in a nursing home you do not notice your surroundings  and it is not the horror you imagine it to be when you are young, active and more switched on.

On subsequent visits I mostly found her asleep  most of the time, she enjoyed what I had brought for her,  tangerines, a drink, dry ginger or cranberry and of course sweets but into week two  she has only asked about going home once. Of course they can't  stop her having falls either and she got nasty bruises on her face with the first and they are trying to get her sleeping at night and then she may be more alert during the day. But Yes it was time.