13. The nursing home conversation.part two.

Well we had a fantastic holiday in Italy although have to say the food did not agree with me. I had two vomiting attacks after scheduled meals, too fatty for me I think. Luckily was not incapacitated and able to do a full days sight seeing the next day.The cooked breakfasts probably not the best for me either. Loved the Bruschetta though and that is what I always ordered. We walked a lot and our knees and hips ached. My shooting stick plus seat was very useful especially on steps but we are certainly conscious that cruise holidays are looming closer! Again could have travelled even lighter, that would have been an advantage.

Now we have been home two months.We have noticed deterioration in Mums condition. She is now incontinent and has difficulty dressing and undressing and her conversations are more shall we say unusual. Bob has loads more patience with her than me I have to say . She usually can not understand what I say and shouting is very tiring for me and not very productive either.

But what causes me the most stress is a broken night and that occurred this week with her coming down the corridor at 3 saying "Am I too early?" in her Belvadere voice. It makes me so angry and then I have no hope of getting back to sleep and am a grumpy wreck the next day! No good complaining to her because she swears black and blue that she didn't do it. So I just suffer stress plus plus. Both Bob and I feel it is time for the nursing home conversation. What I would like to happen is for Mum to say" I am getting too much for you and I should go to Berrington permanently." Can not blame her for not saying this as she had no insight whatsoever.

Luckily today a review visit was scheduled from her home care package and have now got extra hours scheduled, only three extra hours but now she will be showered and dressed six days a week and I will just bring it up at every opportunity that I am getting very tired and need more help. Again it reinforces to me to never do this to your children and I am quite adamant that I won't!