2. The funeral

I was not yet forty although pretty close to it and this was my first experience of bereavement. True I had lost two peers at school but I was at a distance from that.Anyway Bob stepped up and arranged the funeral director and minister. The first mistake I made was thinking the children were too young to attend,not that they would have got anything out of the service as it was. It was taken by our local minister and don't get me wrong I liked him alot as a person but he was a theologian and the service consisted of bible readings that I can't even remember. Mum was in tears to such a degree that she had a nose bleed so I spent time finding her a hankie etc. Bob was also in tears because he had a flashback to his fathers funeral no doubt because he was in a haze of shock at the time of his fathers death having only just graduated when his father had died.The only other person at the funeral was Neil who had been involved since the night of my fathers fatal heart attack on Christmas Eve.

Mum and I had spent that in emergency until Dad was admitted to the coronary unit. Of course we had visited the next day Christmas Day after I had done dinner for the family only to be told not to stay long as he was very sick. Well we could see that but it was quite wrong that my mother was not encouraged to stay with him. Anyway Dad made reasonable progress and was under a good cardiologist but no one warned us that he had a tachycardia that was not a good prognostic sign and ten days later he had a cardiac arrest.So it was a big shock for us all but especially Mum.


Anyway back to the funeral. It was not a life affirming service honouring his life and he certainly did not get the obituary he deserved in The Liverpool Echo or the Daily Post. He had been a respected member of the Insurance and Business community in Liverpool. Other regrets , of course I regret that I never told him how much I loved him and how grateful I was for all he had done for me. It was always Dad who gave me support in the inevitable disagreements that I had usually with my mother.

We got some lovely letters and expressions of sympathy and I certainly learnt the importance of sending these.Out of them all I will quote the one from Margaret my cousin, (Fred's daughter). She wrote"My memories are full of warmth when I think of him: he was always kind,considerate,gentle without any malice.Our last meeting at Peters wedding last summer was typical in this respect,he was sensitive,thoughtful and encouraging, when talking about my work and future and about life in general. I am glad that this meeting remains vividly with me.I shall always cherish it as a memory of a generous,good man"